Thursday, May 13, 2010

Top Names for Bands I Will Never Form Inspired by Stuff My Friends or I Have Said in the Last Two Months.

In no particular order:

Dr. Oktokock - A harsh techno offering, similar to Psyclon Nine and Combichrist.

The Taints - Obviously a punk band, ala The Sex Pistols or The Cramps.

You Two Hoors - Have no idea what kind of band this would be, but I like the name. I'm thinking some kind of unholy folk music with a really over-the-top Italian theme. Laugh if you get the reference.

Donkey Moses - Yeah, another one I have no idea what they would sound like, but love the name--and picturing the mascot. Go ahead, it's okay: visualize Donkey Moses. Feels good, doesn't it? Now you're going to hell.

A Hollow Shell of Pooky - Based on something my friend Jason said during a DnD game when he replaced his dead bear Pooky with another bear...can't stop laughing about this. I have no idea what the band would sound like but it would probably have a ukulele in it. Is there such a thing as an electric ukulele? If there isn't, someone should invent it.

Crocodile-Ball-Pit-Massacre - Some kind of screamo, splatter-punk or some eclectic mess band like Polkadot Cadaver or The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza. Those are real bands. I am not making those up, I swear to Odin!

Extra Stuff Germanic - eh...this would be a parody of WAY over the top power metal like Hammerfall or early Manowar. Or a parody of slightly less over the top power metal like Dio or later Manowar. Or, an all acoustic Manowar cover band.

Kidnapped by Ninjas - Another punk band, but a little lighter and more on the goody side, like NOFX or Bad Religion.

Decade of Sodomy - Clearly a power-metal band, and by far my favorite on the list. This is based on something either I or my friend Addison said during the same game of DnD where Jason referenced Pooky. This would be similar to Kreator or maybe early Cathedral.

SSRI - This stands for Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitor. It's a kind of anti-depressant. The band would be techno rock like Orgy or Gravity Kills.

 update: 3:34 PM, 5/13/10

The Poxing - Totally random, but this was one of those CAPCHA things that Facebook uses to prove you're not a robot...or at least, not a robot that can read CAPCHA. This was the coolest CAPCHA ever, and I tried to get a screen cap and failed. Anyway, The Poxing would be a throaty, blackened death metal band with a post-apocalyptic theme, like later Napalm Death or Obituary.