Friday, March 4, 2011
Stuff Charlie Sheen Hasn't Said...Yet
I'm three steps ahead of you, and two steps to the left of a Ghandibot!
I'll eat a jellyfish for Zeus!
One day, you'll all realize that I was right about Spain.
I'm like Hitler, if he were fucking awesome as shit!
I have two girlfriends and your mom wishes she was one of them!
I once injected a VHS copy of Men at Work with black-tar heroin just to see if it would get me high. It totally did!
I summoned the spirit of Davy Crockett and killed nine owls!
Some people say I'm crazy. I don't have a joke here: I'm just aware that people are saying it.
Haliburton should go back to making lipstick for douchbags!
Cloning a lamb? They should clone me! My wool is way softer and stain resistant!
I just shoved a brick of cocaine into the air conditioning ducts! WE'RE GOING TO VEGAS TONIGHT!
I'm like Jesus, only my cross is made of hot bitches and the nails are actually pussy.
I have two girlfriends, and your mom--wait, did I do this one already?
Ride me into glorious battle!
My piss has an atomic weight.
I think Sheen should be a verb; as in, "I just Sheened a Viking long-boat full of pornstars!"
Two and a Half Men should have been called One Man and One and a Half Jewfags!
I'll spit a cobra in the face! I don't even care! I'll own that shit for life!
No, but all kidding aside: he's got a serious problem and I hope he gets help soon. Well...eventually. This is kind of fun to watch.