Thursday, June 13, 2013

DEATH METAL BAND NAMES

OVERHEARD: two guys having a conversation about silly death and black metal band names...

ME
You shouldn't make fun of them. Coming up with a good name for a death metal or black metal band is harder than it sounds. 

GUY 1
Really?

ME
Yeah, I was in one and we had a lot of trouble with it.

GUY 2
What was your band name?
ME
Well, a little backstory first. We wanted to go with a theme. A lot of our songs were Viking-based, using their mythology and culture. So we wanted to create an image of Viking warriors emerging from the mist, ready for battle, filling all who beheld them with dread. So, we went with a name that tried to convey that.

GUY 1
(Impatiently) Which was? 

ME
Foghat.


GUY 1 and 2
What?

ME
Yeah and it seemed to work because whenever we did a gig lots of people came, but oddly it was a bunch of really old guys and they would always get SO pissed as soon as we started playing. So we decided to go a different direction.

GUY 1
Oh, please...tell us.

GUY 2
God, yes!

ME
A lot of bands have biblical sounding names, like Covenant, Testament, Exodus, and Ministry. So, we decided to go with something like that and picked a name from the Bible...
Genesis.

GUY 1 and 2
OH MY GOD!!!

ME
I KNOW! The same god damned thing happened: old people showed up just to get pissed off!

GUY 1
Did you stick with that name?

ME
No, turns out there was already a band called that. And, interestingly enough, there was one called Foghat. Which is weird because who else would think to name a band that? I get Genesis but Foghat? It just doesn't make sense outside the context of Viking death metal, which...to the best of my knowledge...wasn't what the original Foghat did. So we decided to go with the most random, multi-word name we could think of so there would be no possible way there could ever be another band with that name.

GUY 2
Which was?

ME
Huey Lewis and the News.