Wednesday, May 5, 2010

No Shortage of Morons in the World

I sometimes find people's stupidity mystifying. It's almost like they exist in some kind of parallel world where the logic and reason break down, and information is distorted beyond the point of recognition. Behold the following FAKE commercial:
This is not a real commercial. This was a fake commercial made for the film Confederate States of America, a fake documentary that pretends to illustrate the South winning the Civil War, and a contemporary American states where slavery is still legal. Debate the merit of that alternative history's validity all you want, the point is that it's a great big "What if...?" I once pondered a "What if...?" work of my own, one in which Cortez and the Spaniards had never met the Aztecs, and their culture grew to dominate much of the North and Central American continent to this day. Obviously, that isn't how it happened, but that's the's an ALTERNATE history.

The documentary-style film includes commercial breaks, with commercials in them meant to show the viewer what advertisements might look like if the Confederacy had won the Civil War and slavery had survived to our time. These commercials are meant to be racist: that is the point. It is meant to show a world in which blacks are still considered property. The commercial even says so, as the last word spoken by the narrator shown on the screen is "property" during which the screen is filled with the smiling face of a black man, busy working on his master's hedge. That is the POINT of the commercial: blacks are still, in this hypothetical, alternate and fictional view of the world, considered property--beasts of burden like a riding horse and and guard dogs.
But don't let facts and information get in the way of an argument. Despite the fact that the commercial was made with the express intent of showing a racist world, one in which people are considered sub-human simply by the merit of their skin tone, there are STILL jackasses debating on the YouTube page as to whether this commercial is, in fact, racist.

Here are some examples of the debate raging on this commercial--a commercial made with the express intent of the directors to be racist--comments are presented entirely in their original form, copied directly from the YouTube message board, because they are hilariously stupid. Names have been removed, because it seemed like the classy thing to do.

"the announcer didnt say anything about owning property, but still how does that make it racist? the announcer means protecting his home, and land. H never said anything about slaves but people like to claim racism whenever they see a white guy with a black gardener. would it be racist if a black guy had a white gardener? no? i think it is.  

It WOULD if there was once a war in America about whether or not black people should be allowed to own white slaves, and after that war was fought someone made a fake documentary about the pro-slavery side of that war winning and inserted commercials explicitly intended to depict a racist, black-owning-white society EXACTLY LIKE THE MOVIE THIS FAKE COMMERCIAL WAS MADE FOR!!!

"Please point to the neon sign that says "Slave" above the black gardener. Oh wait there isn't one? You just auto-assume that black men working in gardens are slaves? Well who's the racist there?"

No, I assume a fake commercial made for a fake documentary about a fictional, racist country that the director intended to be racist is racist.

"different they belevied they deserved to be their own country i beveive that if the confederates had won their independece slavery still would have died out winthin about 20 years or so and in fact being a confederate is merely a political view so in fact this commercial is not racist and you are racist against confederates for beleiving it is"


"I didn't think it was that racist. I think it could have been a commercial for some Insurance co. Nothing wrong with it...................... "

Except that it was because it wasn't and it was made to intentionally be..........

"lets just pray to god that he who shall not be named doesnt get reelected, but he probably will cause of all the white people out there who think hes the messiah"

Wait...Cthulu holds public office? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

"wow if your not southern i garantee you think the war was over slavery, well your wrong"

Yes, it was actually over whether or not States had the power to leave the Union so they wouldn't have to abide by a Federal outlawing of slavery. That's COMPLETELY different...

"parody or not, i see nothing racist about being white. which all you people think it is for some reason..."

No one has said that. Ever.

"not racist, needs to be down-putting or critical generalizations of the blacks in the add. 98% of blacks voting for Obama ain't racist either, blacks sticking together, whites sticking together, Asians sticking together...not racist. Saying most black runners are naturally faster than most white runners...not racist. Saying that most black Americans are not as educated as most white Americans...not racist. Saying most Jews are more careful with their money than most gentiles...not racist."

Maybe; maybe not. But you know what IS racist? An intentionally racist commercial made for a movie depicting a racist alternate history, you stupid, stupid jackass!

 "How do you know the boy in the background isnt the girls older brother- seems you are a bit racist here assuming the whole family is white. it reminded you of slavery?  the barbaric treatment of the slaves was not on par with fixing a bike whilst being well dressed and happy"

But fear not, good readers...there are pearls of logic among the ocean of swine waste that is the above-mentioned YouTube forum: 

(In direct response to the last comment above) "lol considering the father, mother, and daughter are all white, it seems a bit far fetched to assume that the black kid wearing a worker's jumpsuit, pruning the shrubs while the rest of the family takes a family portrait is actually the little girl's brother..."

"This is a clip from a movie called Confederate states of america.. it's a satire that supposes what the US would be like if the Confederacy had won the Civil war. It's shot like a documentary with commericals and this is one of them...You should watch the whole movie to get the point."

Now I know what you're thinking: maybe these people were confused because of the subtlety of the ad, and no one told them it was part of an alternate history. That is an excellent point, except that it isn't because they totally were...BEHOLD!

Oh, holy shit, look at that! Right there on the front page for anyone and everyone to see before watching the damned video! Is it REALLY that hard to actually look at something before you look at it?

I'm reminded of a line from my favorite movie of all time, Inherit the Wind, where Mathew Brady declares, "I do not think about things that I do not think about!"  to which Henry Drummond asks, "Do you ever think about things that you do think about?"

Think about it.