2. Arrive wearing dark sunglasses and sporting a cane. Pretend to be blind. Between dances, throw a wad of cash onto the empty stage and shout, "PEEL IT ALL OFF, YOU FILTHY BITCH!"
3. Bring bag of quarters. Make it hail.
4. Stand at end of stage in a motorcycle helmet, gesturing with flashlights in each hand like a runway director during performance.
6. After a dance, follow a stripper into the ladies room. Attempt to watch. When she voices a complaint, say "It's a little late for that, don't you think?"
7. Print up business cards for your hilariously named abortion clinic. Distribute them with tips for the dancers. Offer a referral or bulk discount.
8. Tip the DJ $100 to play Butterfly Kisses for every dance for the rest of the night. Be sure to have your own copy of the song handy in the highly likely event that he doesn't have one of his own.
9. Point directly at a dancer's crotch and scream "PEEEEENIS!"
10. Wet pants during lap dance.