Book Review: Chuggie and the Desecration of Stagwater - by Brent Michael Kelley

Quick review - Highly original, well written, intriguing, and above all, fun to read!

  Summary from Amazon: In the first installment of Mischief Mayhem Want and Woe, Brent Michael Kelley unleashes the horrors of Desecration on Stagwater.
  Norchug Mot Losiat, Chuggie to his friends, is Brother Drought. When, in his rambling, he stumbles upon the remote city of Stagwater, he finds love, temptation, and treachery. He fights against men, demons, and his own nature to battle the sinister forces threatening the city. 

  But Chuggie? All he wants is a boat.

Paperback: 338 pages

• Publisher: Omnium Gatherum Media (November 29, 2011)
• ISBN-10: 0615571042
• ISBN-13: 978-0615571041

I'm going to admit that, based on the cover alone, I probably wouldn't have bought this book. Not that the cover is bad, it's actually quite charming. But looking at it gives me the impression of a YA novel, with the crayon-like colors and the pumpkin-headed things approaching the horn-headed protagonist who appears to be chained to a tree. But the book was recommended so I gave it a go...and I am very glad that I did.

I don't know if Kelley does this, but when I write a book sometimes I imagine a particular actor, celebrity or even a friend as a character when I'm writing them. It just makes it play out in my head better. I also do this when I'm reading a book. So, I can't say for sure who Kelly had in mind when he was writing Norchug (Chuggie) but I can tell you who I imagined: Tom Waits. Except with horns. And it worked perfectly for me.

Despite being as old as the world itself, Chuggie is a pretty simple fellow. Unfortunately, he lives in a world full of ulterior motives. Chuggie's motivation is simple: he just wants to live a simple life...whatever that means for a living embodiment of a force of destruction. Stuff keeps getting in the way, like a town run by three evil bastards: Stagwater. Though Chuggie's plans there are rather simple (he wants a boat...he's already got the anchor) all the power players there have other plans for him. Some want him dead, some want to recruit him, a couple want to marry him. Chuggie doesn't want any part in this, but he gets pulled in  against his better judgement. 

Chuggie is an entertaining character, kind of an O, Malandro rogue. He's as old as the world itself, but still seems to fit into it somehow. As the avatar of drought, Chuggie is always thirsty and, if he wishes, can drain the liquid out of everything. He's not particularly comfortable with this ability, so he doesn't enjoy using it. Still, it's always there in the background, haunting him. He learned a while back that being drunk quiets the voice, so he made that permanent--which apparently he also has the power to do. Chuggie is therefore drunk at almost all points in the book. As such, people tend to assume he's just a common drifter, and he likes it that way. Unfortunately, those in the know see him for what he really is, or at least can tell he's more than that. 

The story is compelling: Chuggie tries to enter Stagwater to buy a boat for a trip to a warmer place. All he has is a bag of junk, the clothes on his back, and an anchor (in the shape of a lady) at the end of a chain he wraps around his body. Chuggie uses the anchor as a flailing weapon at several points in the book, which is hilarious because getting hit with an anchor WOULD HURT SO MUCH! If you're like me, you'll laugh out loud the first time he tosses the anchor into someone. Anyway, Stagwater lets him know he isn't welcome and tries to send him north, even using magic to try and compel him to go there. They definitely don't want him going south, or entering the town. So, Chuggie goes south just to piss them off. That's where he meets a woman living in the forest, a witch seemingly imprisoned by a magical spell, but attended by an army of animated scarecrows (no, they don't sing). Chuggie, who has been alone most of his life, falls in love with the witch and is motivated to free her. She sends him back to Stagwater to look for an item that can save her. And that's where things start to get complicated.

The most entertaining part of the book are Chuggie's dialog, both internal and external. Chuggie is creative with his profanity, using terms like "slime tits!" and "goat rammin frog dicks!" Chuggie's biggest flaw is that, despite his age, he's relatively naive and trusting. Despite living in a world full of people who don't care about anything but their own agenda, Chuggie takes people at their word a lot and that's what leads him to almost getting killed a lot. But it's understandable that he'd be that way. Chuggie is a simple creature: a force of nature, more or less. The world is far more complicated, and Chuggie's outsiderness makes him ill equipped to operate in it with the same level of guile as those around him. He gets along best with other characters with similar, simple motivations; two city guards who only care about their families, a child who just wants a home, and a conjurer who just wants to practice her art. I enjoyed watching Chuggie maneuver through whatever they threw at him, always on the very edge of losing everything. It was very endearing.

Despite it's kind of playfulness, the book has an undercurrent of darkness and horror. There are evil, unspeakable, disgusting things lurking in the woods north of the city. Terrible things happen in the city, too. Evil and destruction is present in all forms, from undead abominations, greed, lust, envy and revenge. Ironically, Chuggie is the only power player in the field who doesn't want to destroy anything. 

I highly recommend this book to fans of fantasy or horror. The world is compellingly built, giving just enough details about thing and place outside the immediate sphere of the narrative to make you want to hear more. The characters are attractive and deep. The writing is good. On the downside, there were a couple of parts where POV was murky, but it doesn't throw you out of the story. Chuggie, in particular, is one of the most endearing characters I've met since Tyrion Lannister from the A Song of Ice and Fire series. I couldn't get enough of him. And I think you'll enjoy him too. 

Book Review: A Clash of Kings

A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


This is the second book in the A Song of Fire and Ice cycle. Therefore, this review will contain some spoilers if you haven't read the first book, A Game of Thrones or watched the finale of the season. You have been warned.



Martin delivers another epic masterpiece, advancing the saga by leaps and bounds. The characters are deep and invoking, particularly the ones we never got to know very well the first time through. Martin's style has improved as well: there are far more battles in this one that are described in action, not merely in passing. Still, there are places where Martin's attention to detail is curious. For example, there is a harrowing escape plot by the Kingslayer that we don't get to see: only hear about after it has been foiled. I think most readers would have preferred to read that, rather than be subjected to an entire chapter of Theon Greyjoy unknowingly trying to nail his sister. In the first book, I began to suspect that Martin was obsessed with food: meals are described in lavish (often unnecessary) detail, fights and love scenes are usually told in passing dialog. This suspicion was confirmed during my reading of A Clash of Kings: every meal gets a the royal treatment. I realize that Martin is doing what he does best here: world building, and the "flavor" of a culture is often expressed best by it's food. But, still...I would have loved to have read more fights. I like fights. I like food, too, but I can eat anytime. I can't always put on armor and get into a fight.



As for the world-building, Martin is a master. He hints at a rich, ancient world that compels the reader, often just mentioning a people or nation with a simple line or two; it's enough. Daenerys and Jorah are off exploring another continent, one where magic is a little less dead than on Westeros, and we get to see a lot of exoticness. And food...Martin describes the food. A lot. He likes food. But he also likes creating entire cultures that we barely get a taste of, just enough to make us keep reading to see if there is more.



There are good battles, though. More than in the first book. We get a melee between knights competing for the honor of being a king's guard. We also get Tyrion, one of my favorite characters, leading a charge against a sortie of Stannis Baratheon's men. He also gets one of the best lines in the book: "What brave men...let's go kill them."



I will say this: something will happen near the end of the book that will probably piss you off so much you might stop reading. I almost did. DON'T. It isn't what you're thinking, I promise. Just keep going. Martin established in the first book that he'll kill pretty much anyone, no matter how invested the reader has become. He killed Ned and Drogo in the first one, before either of those characters got to live out what you were sure was going to be a spectacular destiny. This unpredictability ads to the excitement of the book: anyone could die at any point and in any way, but this also inserts an element of capriciousness, and makes it feel authentic when the unthinkable seems to occur near the end of the book. I assure you: keep reading. I did and I wasn't sorry.



This epic requires a commitment from the reader. This is no casual read, and it would be impossible to pick up this book without having read the first. You might even want to take notes. And once you've read the first two, you'll need to get the rest to see what it's going. Some characters are so complex that you have no idea what their ultimate goal might be. One example of this is Littlefinger, who has been scheming since the beginning for...who the hell knows? He winds up achieving something notable by the end, but it's an odd victory and it's difficult to see where it ultimately ends (note, you get a hint of his great scheme not far into the third book). And then there is Tyrion: the only Lannister over the age of 12 that you don't want to brain with a mace. Tyrion continues to be my favorite, and this book does him as much justice as the first.



One minor complaint: names. Martin is generally uncreative with naming characters, and it creates a some problems. He has a lot of characters with very similar names, most notably in the D range of the alphabet: Ser Davos, Devas, Daenerys, Devan...it's difficult to get straight sometimes, especially for such a long book where minor characters may have five or more chapters between them. For a fast reader like me, this isn't such a big deal. If you only have time to read once or twice a week, this could get exhausting. Fortunately, most of the important characters have nicknames to help identify them, like The Onion Knight or the Knight of Roses.



And there were some characters that I desperately wanted to see in the first book and hoped to see in this one...like the Red Priest with the flaming sword. He gets mentioned, and his flaming sword explained (he doesn't just light it on fire, it's way cooler than that) but we don't ever get to see him. Martin makes up for this by introducing even more intruiging characters, like the two Crannogmen and the wildlings north of the wall...most notably Craster of Crasterly Keep.



So, keep it up, George. I'm into this one until this series till the end! I have my theories and dreams about where it's going, but you never cease to surprise me...even when I'm right. Four stars, easily. Four and a half, if Goodreads only let me give ratings in half-stars.



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Book Review: A Game of Thrones

I know I'm a little behind on this: Thrones came out in 1996. And I'll admit it: I grabbed the book after watching the premier of the HBO show. Nonetheless, I finished the book and enjoyed it enough to post a review on Goodreads. For those of you who don't have a Goodreads account, here is my review as originally posted there earlier this week.

 A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was pretty good. Martin has an amazing gift for creating deeply realistic historical fantasy. The writing is good, though most of the action is described in passing or exposition in dialog, which some might fight a little dull. It more than makes up for this with strongly woven characters with complex personalities and relationships. Even the worst of them are identifiable, and the best of them have flaws and shortcoming that make them intimately human. It's easy to get lost in the words and imagine yourself a participant in the story, either as a bookish maester studying chronicles of a bygone era, the young son of a minor lord being told stories by a septon, or a freerider or mercenary collecting tales in a smoky tavern from old knights and veterans.

If I hadn't known this was the first in a series, I may have been disappointed with the end. The conflict introduced early in the book is not quite resolved by the end...in fact, the events of this book appear to complicate it dramatically. It isn't until well into the book, quite a bit past the middle, and the conflict that is ultimately resolved in this volume of the series is resolved, and even then it leaves the reader hanging. This is good if you've decided to invest yourself in the whole series (as I have) but not if you're just looking for a single-shot read. The complications that arise to promise to keep the story moving into the rest of the series.

Some of the character resolutions are a bit disappointing. I don't want to give anything away, but one of the most interesting characters in the book has a most unsatisfying resolution--though Martin kind of makes up for it in the end. Also, there is a relatively glaring plot-hangup that requires the reader to believe that a certain character in the book is too stupid to notice something DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIM in the years before (and the months including) this book. Martin manages to justify this by having the character in question be a womanizing, hedonistic drunkard...but at times it strains credulity that he wouldn't at some point look up and go, "Hey, waitaminute!"

Nonetheless, this is a highly enjoyable read. My favorite character is the imp, Tyrion Lannister. He's really the only Lannister in the book that I didn't want to beat with a Dothraki whip. There are plenty of characters to love, and more than a few to love to hate. And the characters actions are believable and consistent without being predictable--usually. Plenty of betrayals, twisted oaths and backroom dealing to keep you guessing.

All of this happens to the backdrop of some greater, more powerful danger lurking just outside the gate--or, the Wall as it were, as the noble houses and armies of the world play their "game of thrones," oblivious to nightmare on the way. This is reminiscent of the squabbles of real-world powers while global problems like climate change and overpopulation threaten everyone with equal fervor.

Overall, Martin has written a great book. The moment I finish writing this review, I intend to begin reading the second in the series. I'll let you know what I think when I'm done with it.


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