Book Review: Chuggie and the Desecration of Stagwater - by Brent Michael Kelley

Quick review - Highly original, well written, intriguing, and above all, fun to read!

  Summary from Amazon: In the first installment of Mischief Mayhem Want and Woe, Brent Michael Kelley unleashes the horrors of Desecration on Stagwater.
  Norchug Mot Losiat, Chuggie to his friends, is Brother Drought. When, in his rambling, he stumbles upon the remote city of Stagwater, he finds love, temptation, and treachery. He fights against men, demons, and his own nature to battle the sinister forces threatening the city. 

  But Chuggie? All he wants is a boat.

Paperback: 338 pages

• Publisher: Omnium Gatherum Media (November 29, 2011)
• ISBN-10: 0615571042
• ISBN-13: 978-0615571041

I'm going to admit that, based on the cover alone, I probably wouldn't have bought this book. Not that the cover is bad, it's actually quite charming. But looking at it gives me the impression of a YA novel, with the crayon-like colors and the pumpkin-headed things approaching the horn-headed protagonist who appears to be chained to a tree. But the book was recommended so I gave it a go...and I am very glad that I did.

I don't know if Kelley does this, but when I write a book sometimes I imagine a particular actor, celebrity or even a friend as a character when I'm writing them. It just makes it play out in my head better. I also do this when I'm reading a book. So, I can't say for sure who Kelly had in mind when he was writing Norchug (Chuggie) but I can tell you who I imagined: Tom Waits. Except with horns. And it worked perfectly for me.

Despite being as old as the world itself, Chuggie is a pretty simple fellow. Unfortunately, he lives in a world full of ulterior motives. Chuggie's motivation is simple: he just wants to live a simple life...whatever that means for a living embodiment of a force of destruction. Stuff keeps getting in the way, like a town run by three evil bastards: Stagwater. Though Chuggie's plans there are rather simple (he wants a boat...he's already got the anchor) all the power players there have other plans for him. Some want him dead, some want to recruit him, a couple want to marry him. Chuggie doesn't want any part in this, but he gets pulled in  against his better judgement. 

Chuggie is an entertaining character, kind of an O, Malandro rogue. He's as old as the world itself, but still seems to fit into it somehow. As the avatar of drought, Chuggie is always thirsty and, if he wishes, can drain the liquid out of everything. He's not particularly comfortable with this ability, so he doesn't enjoy using it. Still, it's always there in the background, haunting him. He learned a while back that being drunk quiets the voice, so he made that permanent--which apparently he also has the power to do. Chuggie is therefore drunk at almost all points in the book. As such, people tend to assume he's just a common drifter, and he likes it that way. Unfortunately, those in the know see him for what he really is, or at least can tell he's more than that. 

The story is compelling: Chuggie tries to enter Stagwater to buy a boat for a trip to a warmer place. All he has is a bag of junk, the clothes on his back, and an anchor (in the shape of a lady) at the end of a chain he wraps around his body. Chuggie uses the anchor as a flailing weapon at several points in the book, which is hilarious because getting hit with an anchor WOULD HURT SO MUCH! If you're like me, you'll laugh out loud the first time he tosses the anchor into someone. Anyway, Stagwater lets him know he isn't welcome and tries to send him north, even using magic to try and compel him to go there. They definitely don't want him going south, or entering the town. So, Chuggie goes south just to piss them off. That's where he meets a woman living in the forest, a witch seemingly imprisoned by a magical spell, but attended by an army of animated scarecrows (no, they don't sing). Chuggie, who has been alone most of his life, falls in love with the witch and is motivated to free her. She sends him back to Stagwater to look for an item that can save her. And that's where things start to get complicated.

The most entertaining part of the book are Chuggie's dialog, both internal and external. Chuggie is creative with his profanity, using terms like "slime tits!" and "goat rammin frog dicks!" Chuggie's biggest flaw is that, despite his age, he's relatively naive and trusting. Despite living in a world full of people who don't care about anything but their own agenda, Chuggie takes people at their word a lot and that's what leads him to almost getting killed a lot. But it's understandable that he'd be that way. Chuggie is a simple creature: a force of nature, more or less. The world is far more complicated, and Chuggie's outsiderness makes him ill equipped to operate in it with the same level of guile as those around him. He gets along best with other characters with similar, simple motivations; two city guards who only care about their families, a child who just wants a home, and a conjurer who just wants to practice her art. I enjoyed watching Chuggie maneuver through whatever they threw at him, always on the very edge of losing everything. It was very endearing.

Despite it's kind of playfulness, the book has an undercurrent of darkness and horror. There are evil, unspeakable, disgusting things lurking in the woods north of the city. Terrible things happen in the city, too. Evil and destruction is present in all forms, from undead abominations, greed, lust, envy and revenge. Ironically, Chuggie is the only power player in the field who doesn't want to destroy anything. 

I highly recommend this book to fans of fantasy or horror. The world is compellingly built, giving just enough details about thing and place outside the immediate sphere of the narrative to make you want to hear more. The characters are attractive and deep. The writing is good. On the downside, there were a couple of parts where POV was murky, but it doesn't throw you out of the story. Chuggie, in particular, is one of the most endearing characters I've met since Tyrion Lannister from the A Song of Ice and Fire series. I couldn't get enough of him. And I think you'll enjoy him too. 

BIG NEWS!!! ...that I can't tell you.

YEAH! Big news that I can't tell any of you. SORRY! That's how this shit works. Just trust me, if you knew you'd be happy. Because it's awesome. And yes, it regards publication. NO, I have not been given an offer. Yet. But, we're getting close. SO close...


Anyway, I can't just leave you hanging and not give you something. A couple of bits of news about my agent. First, Cari will be at the Killer Nashville convention on August 20-21. She'll be offering advice, hearing pitches, and selling our books--and having lots of fun! If you're there, tell her Sean said hi! Another thing for you all is an interview my agent Cari did for The Examiner.

Also, the Tribe website has been updated so that you can leave comments on the individual author's page! So, pop by and say something flattering about me. I can take it, I promise. Don't be afraid to check out all the other fine authors and talents represented by TribeLit while you're there!

While we're on the subject of flattery, there is a great deal of it due to my friend and fellow TribeLit author, Luke Romyn. Luke's book: The Dark Path received a stellar review by all the beautiful people at Bitten By Books! Swing by and take a look at the review, then buy and read The Dark Path! Tiamat wills it!

From Formspring: Why haven't your books been published yet? It's been like a year!

I get asked this about once a week. I didn't answer before because I didn't have a definite answer to give. Now I do: it will take as long as it takes.

Publishing is a very conservative business. Considering the amount of money, time and effort that publishers put into a book, as well as an investment in the future creative output of that author, it is a very long, drawn out process. I promise I'm not holding out on you guys. I would love to be announcing I've been signed by a publisher right now. I'd like to have made that announcement several months ago. But, that isn't how it works. Yes, there are examples of writers to get offered a huge contract by the first publisher they approach days after finishing the rough draft of their manuscript. These examples are rare near to the point of being mythical. Most of us have to ride the train, and it's a very old, slow train on a really long track.

Luckily, I'm not on the train alone. I have a very aggressive, intelligent, hungry and dedicated pair of literary agents working to see my books published. Remember, they don't get paid one cent until I get offered a contract. They are motivated to sell. But they are also very smart and know the business. Publishers work with creative people, and creative people are notoriously difficult to work with. Anyone who has been in a band or dated a painter knows this. Time is money in publishing, and every minute counts. If a publisher thinks a writer is going to be difficult to work with, they'll pass...it isn't like there aren't a lot more out there from which to choose: starving writers who would sell their soul for a five figure advance and a contract...or less. Agents have to strike a balance between enthusiasm for the sale and appearing desperate or obnoxious.

All things considered, my story is a fortunate one among writers. Maybe it was the quality of my writing, beginners luck, the product of my odd charisma, my obnoxious talent of self-aggrandizement toward strangers or a combination of any of the above, but my road has been far shorter than many. I know writers who spend years, some decades, just trying to land an agent--or, having landed one, changing agents until they find one they feel comfortable with. This is often after multiple publications in magazines and journals--which don't pay very well but help build a resume. I scored one that was a perfect fit for my style and enthusiasm in less than a month and I haven't had a story published in a magazine in over 10 years...and that was a non-paying submission that I didn't even mention in any of my queries because the magazine doesn't exist anymore. Within two months, my manuscript was out to publishers. A month later, we had our first nibbles from publishers requesting partial or full manuscripts. More have come in the following months. I'm now just over seven months into this. I'm not bragging, I'm just pointing out that I have been incredibly fortunate, and that compared to the sacrifices and struggles that many talented writers must endure on the road to publication, my path seems downright gold-bricked.

So it will happen when it happens, and it will take as long as it takes. I appreciate all of you going down this road with me, and your love and support will not be forgotten when (not if) I get there. Thank you all for hanging in there with me. I know many of you want to read the book, and no one wants you to be able to read it more than me. 

From Formspring: How are your books coming along and when can I get one?

From sagetherage, 5/23/20010

The books are coming fine, thank you. I've completed books 1-4 of The Dragon's Blood Chronicles, which comprises the first story arc for that series. I've also finished my first draft of book five, but there are several things I want to change about it so I don't consider it completed. I've also finished Max's first book, a paranormal mystery I'm tentatively calling Moth. I've started work on Max's second book, which I haven't come up with a name yet. All of the Dragon's Blood Chronicles have long, elaborate titles so I'm thinking for Max's series they'll have one word titles. This is all subject to publisher approval, though. They sometimes what you to go with a different title.

As far as when you can get them...well, my agent and her senior partner are working very hard to secure a good publishing deal for me. We're in frequent contact, and the process is slow going but I expect good things soon. Believe me, as soon as I know, you'll know. I can say that my work is in the hands of several excellent publishing houses, some of which have already requested full or partial manuscripts to review for publication. They can't be rushed, they have to make the decision on their own time. If I thought harassing them would help, I'd probably be very annoying right now. All we can do is wait.

This is a nerve wracking process, and the publishers are taking their time because of the economy, but as I said I'm confident we'll know something soon. I'm as excited to get these out as everyone else. These books have been a lot of work for me, and I've gotten a lot of positive feedback from people who have read the manuscripts. Just keep your fingers crossed.

And...if you happen to be friends with the editor at a publishing house, you might lean on them a little for me. I don't want to come off as desperate here, but I'm willing to donate kidneys if anyone at the publisher needs them. I've got two...and can get more.

From Formspring: What's one thing that you scripted/intended but never actually fit into the story (any one) once you started writing?

asked by SharonTheRose, 5/17/2010

WARNING! This answer contains what some might consider MINOR SPOILERS for the first book. Nothing too big or important, but it does deal with an interaction between some of the major characters in the series.

I originally intended for Yvonne to be a very minor character in my first book, then never mention her again. She was supposed to be a source of conflict for Meg: an old friend who Meg fell out of sorts with after they became room mates. In the earlier parts of the first book, this is apparent: Meg is jealous of Yvonne's confidence and good looks, and even briefly fears that Garrett might lose interested of her in favor of her more attractive room mate.

To that end, originally Yvonne was going to be much more of a bitch. She wouldn't have much control over her mouth, and would often be insensitive to other people's feelings. She was going to attempt to steal Garrett from Meg and, after failing, push Meg into leaving and moving in with Garrett. But as I wrote for her, I found that I liked Yvonne and that I kept using her to say things no other character could. For example, the morning after Meg and Garrett's second date Yvonne, amazed Meg hasn't slept with him yet, jokes, "Are you sure you're not a lesbian?"

My attempts to make her a bitch by having her constantly say the first thing that popped into her head failed, and actually resulted in a very likable character who could always be counted on to tell you what she really thought. This side of Yvonne emerged when one of Meg's friends confronted her about how mysterious Garrett seemed. Yvonne was in the room at the time, and it just seemed to me that the character would stick up for Meg without hesitation. From that moment on, I liked Yvonne and decided she was too great a character to not keep around. She never attempted to seduce Garrett or interfere in their relationship in any way.

So, I never wrote the "Yvonne coming on to Garrett" scene, and I never will. Maybe in an alternate universe or something, but not this one. I also briefly intended for Max to hook up with Yvonne after a party, but decided against this. I don't think that Max would be able to put up with Yvonne for even one night, no matter how drunk he got. In fact, I think the drunker Max was, the less patience he'd have for her. Kicking this idea out led to the introduction of one of my favorite characters from any of my books: Max's girlfriend Sadie. I guess that's two scenes I never wrote: Yvonne trying to seduce Garrett, and Meg waking up to find Max in her apartment after he'd had drunk-sex with Yvonne.

From Formspring: What do you feel is most commercially viable about your books?

That's a great question, but everyone is going to think I asked it myself. I didn't, here is a picture of the Formspring page where I found the question:

flanked by the regular jackassery that I deal with from my friends and family, under another good question at the top (from SharonTheRose) which will be the subject of a blog later this week. I don't know if that proves I didn't make up the question, but I promise I didn't. Again, it's actually a really good question.

I've been told my books are easy to read without being insipid. I rewrote my first book multiple times tightening the prose so as not to demand too much of my readers. I accepted that, as a new and unknown writer, I would have to prove my story worth reading from the very beginning. Fantasy books tend to be very challenging to read, because they ask more of the readers than most books. Fantasy is very much about creating a new world, or at least altering the one in which we live. Few other genre's make this demand of their readers, except some very heavy science fiction and alien horror. This can be daunting for a reader, since most people are busy enough dealing with their own real world and don't have the time or interest to dive into an imaginary one.

That's not to say there aren't a lot of readers who do like a complete immersion experience in their reading material. I've been told by readers that my books accomplish both: they give readers who don't want to have to learn a new fantasy world something enjoyable to read, while also providing hard-core fantasy buffs a new world to explore. If you're wondering how I did that, the answer is: I don't know. It wasn't my intent, it's just how I prefer to write. I don't think a reader should have to prove their intelligence or dedication to an author's work by understanding it. It is the author's job to prove to the reader they have something worth their time.

Something I did intend when writing my books was to tell a story for grown-ups. A lot of fine urban fantasy is written for young adults. There isn't anything wrong with that, but there are a lot of adult fans of those books who I feel are yearning for something a bit more adult. The battles are full-force and bloody, no punches (or claws) pulled. The love scenes aren't are all blacked out. The protagonists are adults, with adult problems.

Finally, I think there are a lot of readers out there who grew up reading the Harry Potter books, then moved on to the Twilight series in their early teens. Now they are grown and looking for a new series, something that's grown-up, too. I humbly submit The Dragon's Blood Chronicles for their approval. And for yours.

The March to Publication Continues...

Hey, all. I just got some great news! Another publisher has requested my manuscript! This is great! I can't say which one because publishers get annoyed if you talk about them being interested before they make an offer. But it's a good one, like the two before. I also got a rejection, but that's fine, especially since they don't typically publish my genre; but you never know when publishers may change their mind so it pays to cast a wide net. So far that's 1 rejection, 3 requests for partial or full manuscripts! All the thanks should go to my agent Cari Foulk and her senior partner Jonathan Clements! Very good news, and I'm very excited!

I'll keep everyone posted on the developments as they...develop...happen...whatever.

From Formspring: Are there draconic religious fanatics? Like Tiamat-ic fundamentalists? How well do dragons tolerate crime in their ranks? What would even be considered a crime among dragons?

I'm combining two Formspring questions into one since they are kind of related.

For the first question...the short answer is no. The long answer is no, with an explanation. The dragons don't worship Tiamat. She isn't a god to them, more like a mother to the race. Most dragons believe she is waiting for them in the afterlife. Some dragons don't care, but most do. These dragons believe that Tiamat observes and judges their actions, and that they should seek to make her proud. I guess it might be possible that there are dragons who get angry at non-believer dragons, but it's difficult to imagine they would do anything about it. Dragons don't really care what other dragons do, so long as it doesn't effect them. The skepticism of another dragon has no effect, positive or negative, on another so they aren't likely to care...unless the other dragon is being a dick about it. Then they might get violent.

As for the second question, yes there are laws. The dragons follow a code of conduct and honor called the Lex Draconic. Literally, the Law of Dragons. Most of these laws were set forth by Tiamat herself, but along the way other rules have been added. Most dragon laws concern interactions between dragons, but there are also laws concerning how they are to interact with other races, including humans. Dragons are not forbidden from killing humans, but they are forbidden from taking a position of authority over them. Dragons once did that very thing, and it didn't end well for the humans beneath them.

Similarly, the rules for how dragons resolve challenges is detailed. For example, it is considered an act of dishonor to attack another dragon that cannot possibly defeat you. This law is intended to protect very young dragons, who are hopelessly outmatched against older, bigger dragons. It goes without saying that damaging an unhatched dragon's egg is the worst crime any dragon can commit. Dragons reproduce so infrequently, with only three or four dragons born in a century. If unchecked, killing hatchlings or destroying unhatched eggs could easily lead to the extinction of the race.

Dragons have a number of ways to deal with lawbreakers. The most obvious punishment is death, but it is very rare that a dragon ever does something heinous enough to warrant such a penalty--or, that he gets caught. Examples of crimes that would warrant death include destroying an egg, killing a hatchling, or murdering another dragon in anything other than an honest challenge (i.e. one where they at least stand a chance of survival).

More commonly, dragons are given punitive penalties. This may not sound like much, except that dragons are obsessed with their hordes and territory. Taking some of it away--or worse, forfeiting it all--is terrifying for a dragon. Remember that most dragons have been collecting treasure for hundreds, even thousands of years.

Regardless the amount forfeited, the dragon is also subject to a period of banishment. During this time, other dragons are forbidden from dealing with them. They essentially become invisible. If the dragon attempts to force an interaction--by challenging another dragon during his time of banishment--he puts himself at risk for greater punishment, up to and including death.

But perhaps the worst punishment for a dragon is the knowledge that he's lost the respect of his or her fellows. Dragons are very particular about their reputations among other dragons. They don't really care much what anyone else thinks, but to lose face to other dragons is simply more humiliation that most dragons are willing to risk. That isn't to say they won't do it, it just means they have to be careful about it...and the reward has to be HUGE in proportion to the risk.

The following are examples of rules almost no dragon will violate, even under the worst circumstances:

• Damaging or destroying an unhatched egg.
• Killing a hatchling or the killing of a dragon in a clearly unfair fight.
• Using sorcery or technology to kill another dragon, even a superior one.

The following are examples of rules most dragons won't violate, but might be tempted if they think it is in their best interest:

• Taking a formal position of authority over lesser races (i.e. humans).
• Excessive involvement in the affairs of lesser races.
• Killing a dragon who has already yielded. 
• Stealing from another dragon's horde.
• Spending an extended period of time in another dragon's territory without asking permission.

From Formspring: What is the definition of 'super natural' in your books?

Functionally, I use supernatural to mean anything that exists in violation of the known laws of nature. This is a relative definition, but also a fluid one. It allows for some overlap between science and the supernatural. Things that are considered supernatural at one time might be realized as natural later.

I use the terms supernatural, otherworldly, and paranormal as synonyms in my book. Most of the time, I favor the term otherworldly. The agency that investigates and tracks supernatural creatures and events for the U.S. Government in my books uses the term otherworldly in their name: Section for Otherwordly Research and Defence, SORD. This is a new name for the agency, taken when it was placed under the Department of Homeland Security. Before, it was two separate agencies, one in the FBI the other in the NSA. The former was called Weird Events Bureau (WEB) and the latter Otherwordly Research Division (ORD). These were combined into one agency after 9/11. ORD was mostly scientists and analysts, while WEB handled the law enforcement aspect. The combined agency makes an appearance in Max's first book, then again in the 3rd and 4th Dragon's Blood Chronicles books.

From Formspring: How many easter eggs do you include in your books?

I like to write an entire series ahead of time, which allows me to plan things well in advance. The significance of certain details in the first book aren't revealed until much later in the series. I don't know that I've ever taken a count, but it's my hope that readers will find things in later books and remember, "Oh, that's what that meant!"

Of course, this only works in moderation. If you keep overloading readers with references to subtle details in earlier books, they will eventually stop reading you. I've been told one of the strengths of my writing is that it is involving, but approachable. You don't have to learn a new fantasy language to figure out what's going on, or consult a massive concordance or keep doing Wikipedia searches every few paragraphs. I know there are readers who actually prefer that level involvement with their books, and I think people who enjoy that will find much in my work to keep them busy. But, at it's core, I'm just trying to tell a good story.

I'm not Ernest Hemingway or Frank Herbert. They were titanic authors who wrote timeless stories. The mere presence of their name on a work of literature is enough to attract an audience. I'm confident about my work, but I'm not going to impose too much on my readers. In other words, I assume that I have to earn their interest; it's not just a given like one of the above-mentioned great writers. I think the worst thing a writer can do is fall too in love with their own work. It's important that a writer enjoy what they write, and write what they enjoy...but equally important is to remember you have to earn a reader's trust and respect with your writing. Make them work too hard for it, and you take the fun out of it. People don't mind reading James Thurber or Franz Kafka with a concordance or online encyclopedia nearby. They won't be so patient with a less known writer like me.

On the other hand, there are a few things in my books that I keep hidden from most people. I do this for fun, and also to see if anyone picks up on them. I'll admit that it will be quite a rush to see people try to figure out what a certain character's name means, or if there is any significance to seemingly innocuous details. Some of these secrets I may share when the books come out. Others, I may keep to myself and a small circle for my friends.

Why? Because it's fun, that's why.

From Formspring: Do you ever feel nervous about writing parts for women in your books?

I did at first. I was concerned it would be obvious that it was a man writing as a woman. I was also afraid that I'd get the love scenes all wrong. So, yes: at first I was a little nervous about it. That didn't last very long. I found out that it wasn't any different from writing for any other character who was different than me, all I had to do was step into their mind and try to see things from their point of view. Not how I would see it if I were in their situation, but rather how I would see it if I were them in their situation.

Incidentally, I've found doing this doesn't just make me a better writer, but also a better person. One of the biggest mistakes anyone can make in dealing with other people is to think they see things the same way as you...or that they should. Right or wrong, people see things differently based on a lot of things. Highly motivated, self-starter types who can handle risk don't understand people who play things safe and put up with a horrible situation out of fear of change, and vice versa.

Also, talking to women helps. I learned a long time ago that women like it when guys take an interest in what they have to say, not just in their bodies. And most women are open to questions from men, if for no other reason than it educates at least some part of the male population about what women want and think.